Tuesday night, April 3, 2018. Attorney Duncan Winston just returned home from the gym. He tossed his gym bag on the floor, frustrated that once again he could find no takers for a game of Jai alaia. Maybe it was for the best, he had work to do. Before sitting down at the desk in his study, he went through his usual routine. First, he took his phone off the hook. Next, he switched on his television for a little background noise. He turned the knob through all four stations. But even after fidgeting with the rabbit ear antenna, and caking it with more foil, he just couldn’t get a clear enough reception. No matter. He grabbed a mixed tape and popped it in his boombox. (He would have turned on a movie but his Betamax was broken.) After hearing the hard slam signaling that the cassette was rewound, he pushed play and moved to his desk. Next, he ensured he had sufficient reams of paper lined up in his dot matrix printer. (That paper was hard to come by these days.) He then sat down at his desk and fired up his Commodore 64. As he waited for the system to boot up, he reached for his copy of Blackstone and cracked it open. The musty smell of the parchment was familiar, like an old friend. Time to get to work. There was no doubt how he would start this motion—the same he way he had started every motion, pleading, and filing since he began practicing law:
COMES NOW the Plaintiff, Southwestern Utah Red Rock Appliance Wholesale, Inc., a Utah corporation (hereinafter “SWURRAW”), by and through its undersigned counsel, Duncan G. Winston, Esq., and hereby ….